the smart (and dumb) things young people say (an extremely short five play-act over discord).

ACT 1 (9/8) 

MeowKate(Today at 9:34 PM): Hey, OMG. I can’t believe you actually fuckin hit that dude with that red paint balloon! That shit was soooooo sick lmaoooo.

Solipsism420(Today at 9:34PM): hahahaah, well now the rest of him matches that overpriced handkerchief he was rockin. you headin to @TabbyCat’s later for a couple Js?

MeowKate(Today at 9:35PM): Maybeeeee… ngl, I’m trying to be a bit cautious since I can’t afford to get sick.

Solipsism420(Today at 9:35PM): are you serious? there is gonna be like four of us there total

MeowKate(Today at 9:35PM): You said that last time and then fifteen people showed up for the smoke sesh. (Shocked eyes emoji)

Solipsism420(Today at 9:35PM): It was fun tho right? (Red eyes laughing emoji)

MeowKate(Today at 9:36PM): lol, yeah I fucked with it, but you know I live with my grandma and I can’t really be that reckless. She’s doing her chemo rounds now and cannot risk getting sick.

Solipsism420(Today at 9:36PM): you literally have gone to more protests than I have (Eyeroll emoji)

MeowKate(Today at 9:36PM): But that’s different.

Solipsism420(Today at 9:36PM): how?

MeowKate(Today at 9:36PM): That’s important.

Solipsism420(Today at 9:37PM): WOW.

MeowKate(Today at 9:37PM):You know that’s not what I mean.

Automata(Today at 9:37PM): Am I interrupting a lover’s quarrel?

MeowKate(Today at 9:37PM): No.

Solipsism420(Today at 9:37PM): yes. please stay out of this lover’s quarrel

MeowKate(Today at 9:38PM): Ummmm… we hooked up once by accident, I wouldn’t necessarily define us as lovers. Besides, is it even a hook up if I never got off?

MeowKate(Today at 9:38PM): (GIF of Tyler the Creator laughing)

Solipsism420(Today at 9:38PM): wow. and all of this in the public chat. have ya heard of DMs?

Automata(Today at 9:39PM): Lmaoooooo. Listen, both of you, as much as this is fun to hear, we need to focus on why we set this Discord up in the first place. The elections are coming up and we need to coordinate our efforts even more. Are you both set to join us tomorrow night?

MeowKate(Today at 9:41PM): Yeah, I’ll be there.

Solipsism420(Today at 9:42PM): same

Automata(Today at 9:42PM): How about @everyone else?

RavensDelight(Today at 9:42PM): Should be good... Might be an hour late if I can’t get off from work early. I’m sure I can find cover though.

Aura Cult(Today at 9:44PM): sorry… babysitting my niece that day, plus I’m not sure how many more protests I’m going to do… it’s getting colder and that means germ season.

Automata(Today at 9:45PM): Aura, you know masks and antibacterial products are provided for all participants who still feel uncomfortable being in crowds. Also, it’s been two years since the virus outbreak. The vaccine has been widely distributed as well.

Aura Cult(Today at 9:45PM): I know Automata, and it’s great and all, but I just wanna play it safe.

Automata(Today at 9:46PM): Sigh. That’s fine, it’s a personal choice. Can you help out with the distribution emails then if you can’t attend?

Aura Cult(Today at 9:46PM): sure! eazy peazy.

(MeowKate DMs Solipsism420)

MeowKate(Today at 9:55PM): Hey

Solipsism420(Today at 9:56PM): sup?

MeowKate(Today at 9:57PM): …

Solipsism420(Today at 10:03PM): what?

MeowKate(Today at 10:03PM): You’re not really mad at me, right? That was clearly a joke…

Solipsism420(Today at 10:05PM): no, just forget it

MeowKate(Today at 10:07PM): Listen, I didn’t mean you aren’t important. You just know I’m not really trying to date right now. I can barely keep up with my own life and it doesn’t help that the whole world is one big cum-dumpster garbage fire right now.

MeowKate(Today at 10:07PM): (GIF of Elmo on fire)

Solipsism420(Today at 10:07PM): you said it was a mistake…

MeowKate(Today at 10:07PM): I was kidding, I swear! OK, that was fucked up and i’m sorry. YOu’re not an accident at all.

MeowKate(Today at 10:07PM): I mean it wasn’t. you know what I mean.

Solipsism420(Today at 10:09PM): don’t stress it.

MeowKate(Today at 10:09PM): What time is your party on Saturrday?

Solipsism420(Today at 10:09PM): u comin? for real for real?

MeowKate(Today at 10:09PM): Yeah, I’ll be there. Just make sure there aren’t to many people, I’m serious Evan.

Solipsism420(Today at 10:10PM): omg I can’t wait! I have some new gummies ya gotta try. no lie, they taste even better than regular sour patch kids!

MeowKate(Today at 10:11PM): Yeah, it’ll be nice. If there is a big crowd I’m gonna leave.

Solipsism420(Today at 10:13PM): you’re good kate. I promise.

Solipsism420(Today at 10:14PM): PROMISE PROMISE!

MeowKate(Today at 10:14PM): lol. You’re such a dweeb. Seeya then.

ACT 2 (9/12)

Solipsism420(Today at 11:34AM): explain something to me kate… I keep it to a handful of people and you still leave??? if you didn’t wanna come in the first place, you didn’t have to

Solipsism420(Today at 11:54AM): so now you’re just going to ignore me? wow. very mature of you. and you say boomers are stubborn.

Solipsism420(Today at 12:34PM): kate?

MeowKate(Today at 1:34PM): No, I’m not doing this again. Every time I try to hang out with you it ALWAYS goes south.

Solipsism420(Today at 1:34PM): da fuck you mean?

MeowKate(Today at 1:35PM): Firstttt, twenty people isn’t a handful. At the very least that’s two handfuls. Two, even after you convinced me to stay you hadddddd to keep pushing that Matrix movie thing.

Solipsism420(Today at 1:35PM): huh?

MeowKate(Today at 1:37PM): You know Jesse is trans and just recently came out about it. Whyyyy would you keep telling everyone that the Wachowskis were faking that The Matrix was about the trans experience because they haven’t had a blockbuster hit in years and needed to ride a “trend” to build up the hype so the movie didn’t flop?

Solipsism420(Today at 1:38PM): because it’s true… and that doesn’t make me a transphobe. you know I don’t care about that type of shit at all.

MeowKate(Today at 1:39PM): I know Evan, but think about it from Jesse’s perspective. She JUST came out and you are saying that the Wachowskis are faking The Matrix being about the trans experience and how it was all just some marketing bullshit to sucker people in. It probably made her feel super uncomfortable!

Solipsism420(Today at 1:40PM): omg, this sounds like when everyone attacked J.K. Rowling for having an opinion that wasn’t 100% PC. so now we can’t question anything? I’m not saying the Wachowskis Brothers aren’t —

MeowKate(Today at 1:40PM): Sisters. The Wachowskis Sisters.

Solipsism420(Today at 1:41PM): you know what I meant. lemme continue before I was rudely interrupted. I’m not saying the Wachowski Sisters aren’t trans, I’m just accusing them of rewriting movie history for their financial benefit

MeowKate(Today at 1:41PM): But why even go there? Why not just let the writers have their views and you have your own? Why say that you think their are secret motives. Can’t trans people just have The Matrix?

Solipsism(Today at 1:41PM): *there

MeowKate(Today at 1:41PM): Oh fuck you Evan! It’s Discord, we are all typing informally. There are literally tons of fuckin typos in every conversation. Don’t be a dick.

Solipsism420(Today at 1:43PM): see, this is the problem with most of the people on this server, or rather the entire left these days. it’s not about equal rights or any of that bullshit, you want the world to be some big kumbaya party too. 

MeowKate(Today at 1:43PM): Switching to an Independent doesn’t make you any smarter than you were two months ago dumbass.

Solipsism(Today at 1:43PM): whatever Kate, i’m with you on fighting for societal contracts being honored, but we can’t expect everyone to have the same viewpoint on everything. people will always get offended here and there.

MeowKate(Today at 1:43PM): Societal contracts?

Solipsism420(Today at 1:44PM): yeah, like i’m black. I don’t really care if a police officer likes me, but I want the same service that a white person would get. same with the court systems, etc. or else, why would I participate in society?

MeowKate(Today at 1:45PM): It’s impossible to separate implicit bias from the equation though. That’s why the only way it would work is if people truly respected and understood one another. Equality isn’t an option, it’s the only solution.

Solipsism420(Today at 1:45PM): spoken like a true privileged white woman who has it all. now she’s saying how to help out the minorities too, real rich

MeowKate(Today at 1:45PM): You have to be fucking kidding me. You’re made because I want equality? You’re mad because I want you to have all the same rights that I do? That I want everyone to have those same rights? You must be trolling otherwise you’re a completely moron.

MeowKate(Today at 1:45PM): *mad

Solipsism420(Today at 1:47PM): i’m just sayin’, white people always have to put their two cents into everything. you can hashtag and help out all you want, but let’s not forget who is oppressing who.

Solipsism420(Today at 1:47PM): (GIF of Kermit drinking tea)

MeowKate(Today at 1:47PM): I’m having a man tell me I’m part of the ruling class… that’s really fucking special, even for your Evan.

MeowKate(Today at 1:47PM): *you

Solipsism420(Today at 1:47PM): hey, if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

MeowKate(Today at 1:47PM): Ignorant and sexist. God, I really don’t know why I associate with you.

Solipsism420(Today at 1:48PM): if you hate me so much, just block me. idgaf. I dare you

Solipsism420(Today at 2:53PM): listen I’m sorry. maybe I crossed the line

Solipsism420(Today at 2:59PM): do you want me to apologize to Jesse too? I definitely will

Solipsism420(Today at 2:59PM): in fact I just did

Solipsism420(Today at 3:04PM): Kate?

Solipsism420(Today at 3:54PM): Kate?

Solipsism420(Today at 9:34PM): are you serious…

Solipsism420(Today at 11:53PM): you gotta be fuckin’ kidding me.

ACT 3 (9/18)

Solipsism420(Today at 10:37 PM): anyone see @meowkate around?

IncessantDroning(Today at 10:42PM): Not recently, why, need something?

Solipsism420(Today at 10:42PM): no, just was curious that’s all

IncessantDroning(Today at 10:43PM): Just check the Discord logs via the bots.

Solipsism420(Today at 10:43PM): yeah, goood idea, thanks man

IncessantDroning(Today at 10:52PM): N E luck?

Solipsism420(Today at 10:54PM): last login was two weeks ago. it’s all good, i’ll try calling her

Solipsism420(Today at 10:55PM): gotta run, take care everyone.

CheerfulBloom(Today at 10:58PM): bye @solipsism420!

IncessantDroning(Today at 10:58PM): later dude.

ACT 4 (9/29)

MeowKate(Today at 10:37PM): Hey.

MeowKate(Today at 11:11PM): Listen, I get if you don’t wanna talk. It’s all good, just wanted to let you know I’m ok. I saw that you called a bunch of times, just I haven’t been so hot lately.

Solipsism420(Today at 11:11PM): u ok?

MeowKate(Today at 11:12PM): My grandma is sick, I must have passed something along to her.

Solipsism420(Today at 11:12PM): from my party?! (Concerned face emoji)

MeowKate(Today at 11:12PM): No, no. You’re good Evan, I swear. This was recently… I must have gotten it from one of the protests.

Solipsism420(Today at 11:13PM): oh shit, are you ok?

MeowKate(Today at 11:14PM): Yeah, I’m fine… but my grandma isn’t doing so well. They moved her to New York-Presbyterian. She’s on a ventilator. They say it’s more for precautionary reasons, but I dunno Evan. I’m scared.

Solipsism420(Today at 11:14PM): i’m so so sorry Kate.

Solipsism420(Today at 11:15PM): you free to meet up? wanna just talk?

MeowKate(Today at 11:17PM): Yeah, I’d be up for that. That sounds really good right now, actually.

Solipsism(Today at 11:18PM): sorry btw for everything I said btw. I was out of line. way outta line

MeowKate(Today at 11:18PM): I’m sorry too. And I’m really sorry I didn’t contact you to let you know what was going on. That was so uncool of me. (Sad emoji)

Solipsism420(Today at 11:19PM): nah, I don’t blame ya. I know your grandma is a huge part of your world. I fucked up. here, lemme pick ya up a matcha latte on the way. want anything to eat with it

MeowKate(Today at 11:19PM): You’re sweet. No, that’s plenty. Honestly. I missed ya Evan. See you soon.

Solipsism420(Today at 11:20PM): yeah, missed you too Kate. see you soon

ACT 5 (10/18)

Solipsism420(Today at 4:44PM): WAIT. FULL RECOVERY??!?! AS IN EVERYTHING IS GOOD???

MeowKate(Today at 4:44PM): YESSSSS!!!!

Solipsism420(Today at 4:44PM): omg, i’m so happy for you kate! that’s like the best shit i’ve heard this year

MeowKate(Today at 4:44PM): I knowwwwwwwwww! My grandma made a full recovery :D. ahhhhhhhhh I don’t even know what to say. Just so fuckin’ thankful right now. (Cute cat crying tears of joy emoji)

Solipsism420(Today at 4:45PM): really happy to hear that kate, honestly

MeowKate(Today at 4:45PM): I love you Evan.

Solipsism420(Today at 4:45PM): I love you too, Kate.

(MeowKate has hearted your last statement)

Solipsism420(Today at 4:46PM): you know, we could just text each other lol.

MeowKate(Today at 4:46PM): I knowwww, but we met on Discord and I think it’s kinda cute.

Solipsism420(Today at 4:46PM): haha, that’s cool then. what time ya wanna grab dinner today?

Meowkate(Today at 4:54PM): 7ish work? I don’t think I’ll be getting out of work on time today.

Solipsism420(Today at 4:58PM): wow.

Meowkate(Today at 4:58PM): 7 no good? Uhhh, maybe I can ask Esme to cover for me, and I can get out a little earlier if we need to.

Solipsism420(Today at 4:59PM): nah, 7 is good. did you see the news?

MeowKate(Today at 5:07PM): Wow. They confirmed her. Days before the election. That’s, that’s insane. You know if the shoe was on the other foot they’d throw a hissy fit. This is such bullshit!

Solipsism420(Today at 5:08PM): yeah… this is… wow

MeowKate(Today at 5:09PM): Do you think they’d actually overturn Roe v. Wade?

Solipsism420(Today at 5:10PM): I hope not Kate, but I’m not sure about anything anymore. hell, I don’t even walk around with my cell phone in my hands these days. Just leave it in my pocket while I talk. I mean, they shot that kid… just a cell phone. in his backyard, just chillin. of course he didn’t respond to the cops request, he was listening to music with his earbuds in, while chillin in his backyard. it was the new Kendrick, actually.

MeowKate(Today at 5:11PM): Yeah, that’s insane. Hey, Evan… can you do me a favor?

Solipsism420(Today at 5:11PM): huh, what’s up Kate?

MeowKate(Today at 5:12PM): Be careful at the protests on Friday. You know I always worry when you go to the late scheduled ones. Also, I hear there are going to be some counter-protestors starting another rally on the next street. Please promise me you won’t get involved if fighting breaks out.

MeowKate(Today at 5:44PM): Evan.

Solipsism420(Today at 5:45PM): Kate, you know I never look for trouble.

MeowKate(Today at 5:46PM): I know babe, but still, please, just promise me if it gets violent you get out of there immediately. I know I'm probably overreacting, but I don’t know what I’d do if I found out you accidentally got hurt, or even worse, killed.

Solipsism420(Today at 5:46PM): i’ll be cautious, haha, you know me Kate.

MeowKate(Today at 5:46PM): (Blank line)

Solipsism(Today at 5:47PM): I promise Kate.

MeowKate(Today at 5:47PM): (Blowing a kiss emoji)