zeros and ones

This wasn’t the first time I caught her staring, but this definitely was the first time she caught me staring back. In a panic, I tried to turn the corner, but in my haste, I clipped the nearest shelf, spilling an assortment of straight-to-DVD movies to the ground.

“You need help back there or somethin’?” said Bill, the portly store clerk, in a gruff tone that clearly indicated he was perturbed how someone could cause such a ruckus in such a tiny store. In fact, that’s what made my dramatic flight so comical. There must have been three, four aisles max. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.

“No, I’m OK. Sorry about that. I’ll clean this up,” I said in a meek tone.

“Huh? You say somethin’?”

As he crept towards me, I waved him off. Bill was the only employee on shift and the last thing I wanted him to do was clean up my mess. As I crawled to pick up the scattered DVDs, I looked to see if Amber was still there. I called her Amber since it was the color of her hair. Truthfully, my painful shyness prevented me from knowing her actual identity, but it felt weird not giving her a name, especially since I had seen her a handful of times now.

She was wearing the same zipped up, cropped leather jacket as last time. In fact, I can’t recall a time when I didn’t see her wearing it, but this wasn’t a bad thing. That piece of fabric hugged her body in such a snug manner that if the zipper ever broke, she’d have to have it surgically removed, for sure. And while it might not be gentleman-like of me to say, I was dying to know what was underneath it. As I glanced down past her frosty, pink lipstick, I got fixated somewhere between her skirt and stilettos that were two inches too tall for practicality purposes. Her legs looked phenomenal. Even if it was the dead of winter and she was bundled up, I don’t think she could have hidden her natural sex appeal. It popped out in whatever ways it could, and her legs were definitely one avenue to this. When I looked back up to her face, she was smirking. I sheepishly looked away. So much for first impressions.

Maybe she knew that I was staring at her legs? Most likely I was just overthinking it. She probably didn’t even notice, and the smirk had nothing to do with anything. I mean I didn’t intend to do it in a perverted manner, and it felt like a couple of seconds, maybe three max. One M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I, two M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I… I mean that’s not long at all, right? The anticipation of death can sometimes be worse than the actual act.

Once I finished cleaning up one of the messes I had made, I decided I’d experienced enough shame for one day and headed towards the front door. There was only a single entrance, so I’d have to risk dying of embarrassment and pass by Amber to get outside. As I slowly crept forward, I tried keeping my eyes glued to the ground, but curiosity got the best of me. She still seemed to be looking my way. She had looked my way in past visits, but there were other customers during those times, so I had told myself that she must be looking at someone else. However, this time was different. Now I was the only other customer in the entire store.

There was no mistaking this, her look was meant for me, and me alone. I wish I had enough courage to just introduce myself, stick out my hand, and shake her well-manicured hands, but when I passed her I pulled my jacket up over my face to avoid her gaze. As I placed my hand on the doorknob and turned it, what small amount of courage bubbling inside of me hijacked the driver’s seat from my usual mild disposition.

“It’s now or never Morty,” I muttered to myself.

I turned around and looked Amber directly in the eyes. Still staring, still smirking. It was “go time”.

“Hey, Bill? How much for the sex doll?”

“Which one? The blonde or brunette?”

“Her hair is amber colored,” I said, with contempt clearly on my voice.

“Oh, the XTC robot model. That’s $7800. Straight from Japan. Even talks to ya too… not that many of our clients do much talkin’ with ‘em!”

“$7800?!”

My wife would kill me if I spent that much, especially since the only thing I was supposed to return with was milk from the grocery store. And just like that, our romantic dance was over. Such is the fickle nature of love, but I guess it is better to have loved and lost. Besides, there would always be other times to fantasize. Plus, I did see that cute blonde staring at me earlier…